Being the wackadoodle that I am, I tend to think about things a lot. And I would argue it not to be a healthy, processing kind of thinking but rather an overthinking, spiral-into-the-abyss-of-crazytown sort of thinking. I have recently lost my main processing buddy to the Great White North and therefore have spent a lot of time within my own thoughts, for better or for worse.
And in these ponderings, I'm hoping to find a little clarity. There have been several comments given to me over the course of the last weeks and months. Several of them centre around the fact that I, somehow, have a calming influence on others. I find this thought entirely bizarre. Again, because I spend a lot of my time in my own head, in my own world, I am very aware of my neurotic mind. Most of the time, I am an entirely anxious person, always worried about things big or small. And yet somehow, I apparently give off an air of settled comfort. But how can I do this, when I don't feel this way?
I think a great deal of it comes down to not talking. When there are difficult situations, or disagreements, my go-to strategy is to say nothing. Definitely not to think nothing, but rather to listen to what's going on around me. But the more I think about it, I find in teaching - especially as I feel myself slip into the traditional teaching model of "teacher at the front talking, students listening" - needs to be more like that. As a teacher, despite having an apparently calming influence, I talk too much. How can I get the kids to learn, to converse, to think, to write, to process, without me saying...much of anything. Or rather, allowing kids the opportunity to express, and myself the opportunity to listen.
One of my favourite resources to help with this problem comes from The Cornerstone blog. 8 Ways Teachers Can Talk Less and Get Kids Talking More showcases some excellent strategies to encourage a less teacher-focused classroom and a more student-focused one instead.
One final thought, though I'm not sure how it pertains to the nonsense above. This week I had a student say to me, "Wirzba, you're like an actual teacher today. Instead of like a student teacher." At first I was really offended by this, though I'm not sure what it means. How are the two different? Aside from the assumed addition of power or paycheque, should there really be any difference between the two? Is there a difference really? I suppose a "real teacher" would roll their eyes, ruffle the kids hair and ignore the comment.
I suppose if I wanted to wrap this weird post into a nice pretty package I would say that the difference between external comments and internal dialogue have been great for me in the past weeks. This disconnect presents very interesting philosophical conundrums that push you to be your best self, right?