My appreciation of this phrase may not be unusual to those who know me. As someone who hoards most things, it is unsurprising that I collect and ruminate upon things people have said and think on them often. Being a first year teacher, one who has little else going on in her life, this Christmas-y phrase really got me thinking about my students and the words that I share with them. People often tell me that there isn't a lot of appreciation for teachers, and that, while some students will remember and appreciate you, many will forget you. This may not be the most warm of all sentiments, but it is however, honest. This honesty does make one think about the impact you really do make as a teacher, and I was really wondering about the way in which I talk to my students. Even though some may not remember what you say to them, some definitely will.
This evening, while waiting for a friend at Starbucks, I bumped into a former student I had from a past teaching practicum. She was kind and bubbly, as I remembered her to be, but surprisingly she mentioned another former student of mine, who was in her class this year. She recounted how often he talked about me! To be quite honest, I was entirely surprised. This student, who I had been forewarned about as being a bit of a "troublemaker", was always incredibly exuberant and willing to help. He was also more than a little bit loud. However, I saw a lot of kindness in him, and on one occasion sent a little note home for his mom telling her how much I appreciated him in class. I'm not too sure if this note ever actually made its way home, but I don't think I will ever forget how much he glowed as he read (and then proceeded to brag to fellow classmates) about what I had written. This rather insignificant, but intentional message made a huge impact on him.
I also stumbled across an article from this past year about answering a specific set of questions with someone that will make you fall in love with them. (Please excuse this seemingly tangential snippet, I promise there is a point in here somewhere!) The premise of the "experiment" is that two people ask and answer increasingly personal and vulnerable questions of each other that speed along the general process of intimacy. The experiment concludes with expressing genuine compliments about the other person. What the author of the article said was that this exchange of compliments was one of the most valuable parts as people don't tend to do this. And my question was instantly, why not?!?! When you meet a person, and you love something about them, you are taken by something they've said or done, why don't you tell them?
And I don't mean this in a romantic way, as the article may suggest. Where's the harm in giving genuine compliments? At the very worst, for example if the person is me, they will take the compliment awkwardly. Most likely, however, the person will be touched that you cared enough to be kind and take notice of them. So, to bring this back around to classroom-y things, I think its very important to speak intentionally to your students. When you see them do something awesome, tell them. When you love their new hair colour, be excited about it with them! When you see someone being a truly awesome classmate or teammate, high five them and tell them why you've done so. While some of these compliments may be glazed over, some easily forgotten, there are others that become ponderings of the heart. Tidbits that they will hold dear to them, just as there are those that I hold dear to me.