The title of this post is a little misleading as it suggests that there is only one "E" word to be discussed when actually there are two. The first "E" is for expectations. This particular little mot has been rumbling around in my head for quite some time. So much so, that it might not have a whole lot of meaning anymore. Expectations are incredibly crucial in the classroom. This is what I've been told. And I know it's true, but the more you use the word, the less meaning it seems to have. Despite my past blatherings about wanting to be a fairly structured, orderly, "not-just-the-fun-class" kind of teacher my classroom style is very casual, to say the least. While I have found this style evolution surprising, I do also believe it to be rather necessary. The level of informality in my classroom plays a crucial role in making students feel comfortable. I think. But in creating this casual atmosphere, I often worry that my expectations are unclear. They are assumed (or discussed ad nauseam in my head, rather than aloud) and not always effectively communicated.
Several week ago I had the unbelievable pleasure of sitting in on my very good friend's Grade 4 class for the day. I'm going to call this friend Kacy, because that is her name. Kacy is a truly stellar teacher. She will tell you otherwise, but don't listen to her. Kacy is a very natural teacher. When you ask her how she does things, she rarely has a satisfactory answer because she says she doesn't know, she "just does it." She has found an incredible balance between having students adore her and having immaculate structure and order in her room. While I learned many things about being in her room, what I was most impressed by was how well her students knew and followed her expectations. It was crazy. One quick word, a hand gesture, an eyebrow ever-so-slightly lifted and the kids knew exactly what to do.
So being my self-doubting self I decided to worry about this for a while in the context of my own classroom. I need to have much clearer expectations for my students. On a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly basis. And I set out to do just this. And I may have been somewhat successful. But here is the part that is particularly problematic. What happens when students don't meet your expectations? For most of the year my assumption was that if a student didn't meet my expectations A) I didn't explain them properly or B) the expectation was wrong in the first place. But what if that isn't actually true? You know what happens then? If you're me? In the last couple weeks? You lose faith. You think that maybe these kids are as spectacular as you think they are. Maybe they are intentionally being a pain in the butt. Maybe they're choosing not to meet your expectations because they don't want to. Because they hate you. Whatever.
Enter Dr. Ross Greene and my next "E" word.
Today I went to very informative PD session led by Dr. Ross Greene, author of The Explosive Child and Lost at School, just to name a few. I really had no idea what to expect from it, I hadn't read either of the books name-dropped above, but I had heard a little about him. The PD focused on working with "Behaviorally Challenged" kids. Throughout the day Greene laid out a very compelling framework for working with such children and it centred around several key understandings.
1) Kids do well if they can.
This should not be revolutionary, and yet it is. Who really wants to fail? Who chooses to fail? No one! (I'm sure some of you have a "yes, but..." to this, and Greene was very good at telling you why those were wrong, don't worry)
2) Doing well is preferable.
People want to do well. They really do.
Understanding these two components comes down to something very important. EMPATHY. This is a much better "e" word than expectations. In order to figure out why students aren't meeting your expectations, since they really do want to "do well" you need to put yourself in their shoes. More importantly, you need to ask them about it! Don't theorize about it. Don't try to solve things or make excuses for the student in your mind, just ask. Let them communicate. Let them tell you why.
Let me point out that I'm sleepy and I have 12 pages of notes from the PD session today, so these thoughts are in no way comprehensive and may misinterpret Dr. Greene's work unintentionally. I really appreciated his research and systematic approach to something so crucial. Using empathy to figure out why expectations aren't working.